Man Or Woman?
by abandon.me297
Summary: Nephlite is being a pervert about Malachite checking Zoycite's gender, because Jadeite started a big argument about it. Female Zoycite Warning, Male Zoycite bashing. I hold nothing against him though. OOC


Jadeite smacked his lips to make his boredom understood.

"Don't do that…" Nephlite rolled his eyes.

"But I'm bored!" Jadeite defended.

"So wha-"

"Is Zoycite a woman or a man?" Jadeite asked, interrupting Nephlite.

"I don't know, what kind of question is that?" Nephlite answered.

"Just curious… because in the Japanese version… she's a he… but in the American version… he's a she…" Jadeite analyzed.

"So?" Nephlite asked, Jadeite's pointless conversation becoming intolerable to him.

"I just want to know!" Jadeite insisted. "Which version do you prefer?"

"Female," Nephlite answered without a second thought.

"Why?"

"Because, boobies, duh," Nephlite replied. "Jeez, you're simple sometimes."

"Of course, you're such a pervert," Jadeite complained.

"Well, which one do you prefer?" Nephlite started.

"… female…"

"Exactly!"

"But not just because she has boobs and a vagina and not a man stick!" Jadeite hastily added.

"Then why?"

"Because she's so bad ass, in the Japanese version she's just a gay, extremely feminine transvestite, but in the American version, she's this bad ass female," Jadeite explained with a smile.

"That wasn't insulting at all," Nephlite said sarcastically as he rested his chin on the surface of the table, which happened to blend in with the walls… which happened to blend in with the floor… which happened to, okay, everything blending in with each other! Everything was that same shade of dark blue! But just because, the floor blended in with the ceiling. "Most fan girls would probably tie you up, get someone to rape you, smack you across the face a couple times, sack you, rip your hair out, and then kill you for saying that."

"Well, why do they like male Zoycite so much!"

"YAOI! DUH!"

"Sorry…"

A few blue lines that resembled crystal streaked vertically in the air and Malachite appeared in their place as the dispersed.

"I hear you guys talking about my Zoycite," he said gruffly.

Some cherry blossoms swirled in the air and Zoycite developed within them.

"I say, Zoycite is a female," Jadeite said stubbornly.

"What?" Zoycite said, insulted as she drew her head back at Jadeite's words.

"Well, just to go against you, I saw Zoycite is a male," Nephlite said with a crooked smile.

"Female!"

"Male!"

"What the hell!" Zoycite demanded. "What are you two twits talking about!"

"If you're a female or a male," Jadeite said bluntly.

Nephlite did a face palm. "Dumbass, you're not supposed to tell him."  
"Her!"

"Him!"

"Hold up, hold up," Malachite said as he raised his hands.

"Why are you two having such a meaningless argument?"

Zoycite started floating and she crossed her knee at her knee and folded her arms across her chest. "I think I would know if I was a man or a woman."

"Well, what are you then?"

"Female!" Zoycite snapped.

"Suuuure," Nephlite said. "Did ja check?"

"No! I'm not checking!"

"I will!" Malachite volunteered.

"You're not checking either!" Zoycite said.

"Well, who can check?"

"No one!"

Malachite sighed and grabbed onto the hem of Zoycite's shirt, dragging her down back to the ground.

"What are you doing?" Zoycite asked.

Malachite reached for the buttons that held her shirt together and undid one of them.

"Hey!"

"Free porn theatre!" Nephlite declared.

Malachite reached his hand in the opening and felt around the inside of Zoycite's shirt, feeling one of her breasts, and then the other. "Yeah, she's a girl."

"Malachite!" Zoycite fumed as she did her shirt back up.

"You have to check the other area, because she might still have a man stick," Jadeite told Malachite.

"God, you're so immature," Malachite mumbled.

"C'mon man, do it!" Nephlite encouraged him. "Stick your hand down her pants! COME OOOOON!"

"No!" Zoycite said as she flew up higher in the air, looking down on everyone. "Screw off!"

"Look, Zoycite, you're the only woman in the Dark Kingdom that isn't dead, insane, or ugly, live wit it," Nephlite said.

"Well I'm not available, you live with that!" Zoycite seethed.

"That's why God invented three-somes," Jadeite pointed out.

"Jadeite, shut up, we didn't ask for your two cents!" Malachite yelled.

"I don't get it…"

"Just be quiet!"

"but we don't know if Zoycite is male or female!" Nephlite said.

"Look, there are so many ways you could tell if Zoycite's a girl or a boy, one, the spelling of her name, two, what language we're speaking, three, the spelling of everyone else's names, and four, her chest!" Malachite miffed.

"… but those are all the boring ways!" Nephlite protested.

"Well I'm not letting any of you go near my Zoycite, get over it," Malachite said as he floated up to Zoycite and grabbed her hand. "Let's go check your gender," he offered with a smile.

"With pleasure," Zoycite smiled as she kissed Malachite gently on the cheek. They disappeared in a mix of cheery blossoms and blue streaks.

"That slut…" Nephlite said after a moment.

"Zoycite isn't a-"

"I was talking about Malachite," Nephlite interrupted. "and you know, I still think you should be killed for what you said about male Zoycite, have you ever taken the fan girls feelings into consideration?"

"I never take anything into consideration."

"Figures… but you know, all Zoycite is in the American version is a bitch, jealous girl who favours the colour pink and fears rats," Nephlite said.

"So... she's still more bad ass."

"You're such an ass sometimes."

"I know."

**-xxxxx-**

**Sorry about the male Zoycite flamming, I hold nothing against him, I just prefer female Zoycite better. Just thought it would work for the story. :D**

**Anyways, been dying to make a Sailor Moon story. Sailor Moon is so under-rated xD**

**Thanks for reading! n.n**


End file.
